Whiskers and Secrets

I am "certified" at work, meaning I am no longer in training. The work has become routine, and I have memorized the long list of medical questions I am required to ask each donor. I have found my mind wondering (bored) as I run through questions I ask 50 times a day. Twice now, this has gotten me into trouble. Let me explain.

Last week, I was interviewing a rather masculine woman. As I was going through the routine, the thought occurred to me that maybe "she" wasn't really a woman. She had broad shoulders, a wide nose, and hairy arms. Her hair was a fake yellow-ey blond, styled in a 70's fashion that reminded me of that old TV show, Bosom Buddies. I was looking intently at her chin, trying to find whiskers that might give away her *true* identity. I was telling her to grab an AIDS bulletin in the wire basket to the right of the sign in sheet. What came out of my mouth? "Make sure you grab an AIDS bulletin out of the WHISKER basket." She looked at me funny, but didn't say anything. I was talking fast, so I just "got past the moment." Ugh!

Just today, I experienced another horrifying throw-up of words. I was going through a list of medications to make sure the donor hasn't taken anything that might defer him from donating. As I was going through the list, my mind was wondering. I was thinking about my cousin in California. She is trying to get into Nursing School. In CA, they follow a lottery system. She said it can take up to three years for a name to be picked. I was thinking I should tell her to read the book "The Secret," a book about positive thinking and how we attract what we believe. So there I was, listing the medications. "At any time, have you taken blah, blah,... Tegison... Soriatane... SECRETS?" The donor looked at me funny. "Secrets?" Oh, boy. Here we go again!